Oh sure, I could show you recent pointless acquisitions from Knit One in Pittsburgh like this On-line sock yarn and this Claudia's Hand Painted Sock Yarn in Passion Fruit from Stitch Your Art Out in Pine Grove Mills...or I could show you pipe dream pics of this Valley yarn in Longmeadow that I will supposedly be doing the Green Gable out of (as if), or pictures of the Blue Sky Alpaca Cotton Fitted Tank pattern that I'll no doubt be completing very soon (once I cast on for it, that is...). Perhaps I could interest you in this dreamy handspun and hand dyed yarn from Sugar Creek Farm, a sheep farm in rural Wisconsin? A friend, someone who is my oldest partner in crime, sent it to me last week out of the blue. Maybe you'd like to see photos of my second Jaywalker, my Fiber Trends Leaf Lace sock or the nearly-at-the-bust-increases front side of Sizzle. How about a shot of my Nashua Handnnits Tank Top with Peplum?
But seriously,what would be the point? It would be nothing more than a shameless attempt to divert your attention from the real issue at hand. Real issue? That would be, of course, the glaring paucity of actual finished projects. Because there aren't any. All we have in that department is lack...and I'm not happy about it! I thought I could multi-task this whole knitting thing, I mean it seems to work pretty well in other areas of my life. I somehow manage to make dinner and read the mail while talking on the phone and drinking a gin and tonic. I am perfectly adept at rereading back issues of the New Yorker and brushing my daughter's hair while watching Project Runway and eating nachos, so why can't I finish these bleeding projects? I am so sick of all of them, I'm even sick of the ones that I haven't even started yet. What is wrong with me?! Knitting is making me feel mentally ill, like all of these semi-finished projects are some sort of outward manifestation of my inward state of extreme distraction and lack of focus. Someone pass the Adderall, stat!