Sunday, July 08, 2007

Gag gift. Literally.

Gag gift.

Last week I visited my freewheeling Unitarian parents in Minneapolis. Without fail going back to the house where I was born and spent my entire life propels me instantly back to my adolescence: I start raiding the fridge for ice cream, staying up late and talking on the phone, and rummaging through my parents' drawers. I'm not proud of these fiendish adolescent behaviors, I'm just trying to contextualize the photo pictured above. Now, I can safely say that I could have gone my entire life not knowing about this particular knitted garment and been perfectly happy. But no, my childish impulses had to get the best of me, and this is what I find. Luckily my mom is an open sort who gets a huge kick out of my 'hissy fits', and she was delighted to see my reaction of revulsion and disgust. She told me that it was a gag gift that someone had given my dad in the '70s. Gag gift indeed. Well luckily it's never too late for therapy, right?

49 comments:

Laura said...

I'm not quite sure what to say!!! Lol!!

lauren said...

That's so funny! My old roommate used to forward me photos of things like that he would find on the internet and joke that he wanted me to make him one!

Diana said...

I'm luvin' it! Of course, no kid wants to believe their parents can be nasty. Afterall, my parents had three kids and I still don't believe my mother ever had sex. It would mess up her hair!

Karen said...

Aaaaa! Talk about Scarred for Life. LOL

Pheelya said...

*laugh* That is too funny. I was thinking of make one for my ex-fiancem but MUCH smaller. *cackle*

Twisted Knitter said...

LOL! Thank you for the laugh this morning! :-)

Of course . . . funnier still is your taking a photo of it to share with US! LOL!

Sophie said...

OMG! You've got to be really horny to survive the laugh. Ding ding ding!!

melissa said...

i would have died (of laughter), seriously.

Dove Knits said...

And you just HAD to share, didn't you.

schrödinger said...

Wow! That's quite the find - especially the piece with bell on the end, not quite sure what to say about that :)

Sonya said...

I think the bell is my favorite part!

Gingersnaps with Tea... said...

Gaah! I can't believe you took a picture. The bell is what really makes it. That is too funny.

Yarnhog said...

Ummm...has it ever been worn?

Jennifer said...

Ewwwww! lol

kim said...

Is that really what I think it is? A Willy Warmer? And the bell... Thanks for the best laugh of the day!

The_Add_Knitter said...

Yes, and how damaged would you personally feel if you found it at your parents' house??

According my mom it's never been worn...at least this is my most fervent desire ever!

Ashley said...

Oh dear god--the trauma, the trauma. You poor thing.

Veronique said...

Hee hee! :)

tiennie said...

Is it wrong that I now want to knit some as gag gifts too!?

Angela said...

Many, many years ago, a similar item showed up at a family reunion as a Bingo prize. It had to have come from THAT side of the family. (THAT side is the side you are not on when these things happen.) I recall a jingle bell as well. Blech! One has to ask why these things are kept in draws after lo these many years...

Jen said...

OMG!!! Waaaah I don't have cool parents at all and that would massively freak me out! Oh gawd, I have terrible, awful images in my head now. aaaaah!

pamela wynne said...

omg, that's *hilarious* -- and totally scarring, because you KNOW they couldn't resist trying it on at least once!

knittingphilistine said...

Oh, geez. Pam is so right. Um, I have to go check out that other person's blog now... :)

Though I do have to say, that has the potential for being a mighty quick FO, you know, for when one is desperate to keep her readers, having not posted a finished object in ages...

Sarah said...

Doesn't everyone blame the 70s for these kinds of things. Bell bottoms, that tacky orange flower couch print and now, of course, the ever popular 70s fad the male-unit cosy.

Too funny. That'll teach you to snoop.

Faith said...

Good heavens! Though I'd be lying if I said I hadn't made one myself. I was a teenager! The bell is the best part.

robin said...

OH DEAR GOD...How big is that thing, anyway???!!!???

Pheelya said...

OK, so after reading the comments and seeing people's interest, I just couldn't resist...

Knittable Gag Gifts

Janet said...

oh.my.god. i have no words, but i now have a sneaking suspicion about where the str club folks got their idea for the first socks. oy.

Daphne said...

Pretty hilarious. I had a conversation (with my therapist) recently about that teenager-regression-thing. It drives me crazy the way my parents drive me crazy like I'm 13 and HATE THEM OMG I HATE THEM. you know. So to discover something like this while in the throes of throw-back... My sympathies are with you.

Romi said...

SNORK!

Dipsy said...

LOL ;) This is what visiting our childhood places does to us ;)))

Proseknitic said...

It is a hoot.

And if there are any old knitlisters around - there was a much better pattern for a willie warmer.

But it didn't have a bell (and all guys said not acrylic

Nora said...

Oh, my! I'm speechless...

K. said...

See what happens when you snoop in the parents things? Better to find it now than after they have passed on. Much more entertaining for you and your mom. :)

anna said...

Ohmigoodness!!! Talk about something that'll make you fall out on the floor, LMAO!!! Oh my. Just too much for words!!!

craptina said...

I'm going to make one. Seriously.

Rachel said...

Huh. I...hmmm. I mean, well. Clearly you're going to have to have your memory Eternal Sunshined now.

Lone Knitter said...

Okay. When I first saw the picture, I thought that you had knitted it for a friend's bachelorette party. Then, I see it was your father's?!? Now that is impresive--that, and the fact that he kept it for all of these years. Now, who was the lady who knit it for him??? Could it be your mother?

Lone Knitter said...

p.s. I also thought, at first, that it was a cozie for a certain type of, well, you know.

James said...

Alright. Clearly the bell has some kind of importance or function. Perhaps it serves in some kind of ceremonial capacity. Or maybe it's more of a Pavlov's dog arrangement. Let's break into groups and discuss, shall we?

Emily said...

Your father still has it? Does that mean it's getting lots of use? :)

BeadKnitter said...

Hee-hee! That brings back memories. When I was in college (in the 70's) some of my friends knitted these for their boyfriends.

Donyale said...

Hmmmm - I'm not buying it - it looks newly knitted to me - not like something 30 years old.....

The_Add_Knitter said...

Hate to burst your bubble Donyale, but my parents actually did receive it as a gag gift at a 'white elephant' party!

Dr. B. said...

Funny, I was going to say the exact same thing Donyale did. At a minimum, they've certainly kept it well-preserved.

Hilarious!

Montgomery C. said...

Well your parents must have kept that in a vacuum chamber cuz that yarn looks fresh!

Btw, got a pattern for that?

Shannon said...

When my grandma died, my mom was on some sort of hunt to find the "knitted willy warmers" that she insisted existed and my grandma knit. For some reason she kept looking in the kitchen. *shudder*

Fancy Pants said...

Hahaha. That is funny and scary all at the same time. For some reason, I saw the bell and thought of someone dancing about with it on. Y'know, lots of hopping about and wiggling of hips. Okay. I'll stop now but hahahaha. Thanks for sharing!

Elizabeth said...

Must. Add. To. Queue.

If I add bells to something equally inappropriate for myself, we can start a family band!

Too funny.