I am fully expecting any day now to receive a 'cease and desist' order from Grumperina* telling me to quit slagging on her pattern. All over the knitblogosphere I've blasphemed it, told my tale of woe to whomever would dare even breath mention of the J-word. I don't know what it is precisely about this pattern that has inspired such bile on my part. It must be some disastrous cosmic alignment and convergence of the pattern, the size 1 needles that are now warped beyond recognition, incidentally,(kabobs, anyone?) and the Opal hand painted yarn, which basically feels like twine at this point.
I'm sorry, Jaywalkers, it's just not working out between us. It's not you, it's me.
You might recall my last post which prematurely sounded the death knell of sock knitting round these parts. Right when I was about to permanently throw in the sock knitting towel, enter a pattern so utterly awesome, so undeniably right on that the sheer magnitude of its power has yet to be properly comprehended and documented.
People, I am talking about the Monkey sock.
The Monkey sock. The sock that has single handedly restored my sock knitting mojo and brought me back away from the dark place. Coaxed me off the ledge. Shown me that it's not all of sock knitting that has me down, but rather one unfortunate, abusive, co-dependent knitting relationship. Jaywalkers, I'm breaking up with you. Cookie A., I want to have your baby. Run away with me, won't you?
The highs and lows of this wild roller coaster ride of sock knitting emotions has gotten me thinking about various patterns and projects, and inspired my first ever contest. Also, this my 100th post, and I love to see people duke it out over prizes.
There are two skeins of Trekking up for grabs, one for someone who has never posted before (yes I'm a blog whore) and another for an old timer. Post your answer to the question below before Monday, May 28th and you might score pay dirt! Tween thing and Peeper-lou will help determine the lucky winners.
Question: What pattern/project has nearly done you in, has kicked your knitting a**, so to speak, and what was the pattern that rescued your faith in knitting?
*please know that I think Grumperina is an amazing, gifted designer and that my recent Jaywalker travails are all of mine own doing, completely my own fault, and in no way reflect on her talents, which are well known by anyone who has either had success with the Jaywalkers (hate all of you) or any of her other patterns...
We're all familiar with the following formula: '______is the new ______'. I believe Diana Vreeland is responsible for the adage "pink is the new black". Some terribly deluded woman whose throbbing ovaries were ticking like a time bomb perpetrated upon us "40 is the new 30", which I am here to tell you is so not true by the way. I've also heard that "Queens is the new Brooklyn", which I want very much to be true, but have yet to really believe. However I have alighted on a formula that does indeed prove to be valid, at least for this knitter: Mittens are the New Socks.
Let me explain.
Once upon a time I looked to the simple sock for its healing, curative powers. What exactly did it represent? A breather from a long haul sweater or tedious scarf. A microcosm of all the techniques you could ever want in a project. Low-cognitive load knitting. A fast moving project that progressed at a nice clip. Right when you were on the verge of getting sick of the leg, voilà, you were on to the heel flap, and interest was maintained. Heel flap tedium? No matter, you're turning the heel now, and what could be more exciting? And just when you'd had quite enough, you were done...and knitting satisfaction ensued.
Enter more complicated patterns that require a higher level of attentiveness. Guess what? Socks aren't moving so fast anymore, are they? Case is point: the Jaywalkers. I know it seems that I'm always picking on this pattern, but I have been working solely on this pattern for the past week and am inching forward at a snails pace. Suddenly socks are not doing it for me anymore.
Hello A.D.D. Knitter, meet your new best friend: the mitten. One of the things I picked up at MDS&W was a bunch o' Morehouse Merino kits. Suddenly remembering where I had stashed these puppies, I dug one out with a hunch that it would prove to be a salve to my sock-frustrated soul. And I was right. The sheer simplicity of the mitten makes it a joy to behold. I started these mittens late Thursday night at the tennis court watching my daughter play, worked on them during a hair appointment on Friday, brought them back to the courts yesterday afternoon, and am now fondly gazing at a finished object. Now that's more like it!
The Specs:
Pattern: Morehouse Merino Variegated Mitten Knitkit
Yarn: Morehouse Merino 3-Strand in Indian Summer
Needles: size 5 dpns
I know that knit bloggers love their socks, and I love mine as well. But sometimes putting them down for a carefree spin with another less consequential, low stakes project is the right formula for success...
So in the last 12 hours I seem to have been tagged about 7 times to participate in a meme where you reveal 7 random facts about yourself. Now, the number 7 is undeniably lucky and the concept of the randomness has always produced interesting results...but it's the 'yourself' part of it that's giving me reason for pause. You see, the part of blogging that is the most appealing to me is that you are presenting to the world a certain persona, a tidied up, better version of yourself. You get to fashion a version of yourself for public consumption. You may have perhaps noticed that my picture appears no where on this site. Why? Insecurity...maybe you'll unsubscribe when you see 'the real me' (although all you smarty pants/lit crit/theory people who read this site know that it's a construct anyway, right?). Yes, the A.D.D. Knitter is one sad tomato...
So, with much trepidation: "Each person tagged gives 7 random facts about themselves. Those tagged need to write in their blogs the 7 facts, as well as the rules of the game. You need to tag seven others and list their names on your blog. You have to leave those you plan on tagging a note in their comments so they know that they have been tagged and to read your blog."
1. I have two different colored eyes: one is brown and the other is green. Small children and make up artists at the Bobbie Brown counter find this fascinating. The former because it is freakish and the latter because it presents unique eye shadow palette choice challenges.
2. There is another part of me that is not perfectly symmetrical. This caused my mother, upon seeing me within the last year with my shirt off, to comment in her inimitable British way, "You know, if you were to ask a plastic surgeon to correct that problem, he would probably not be against it". If I were....probably not be against it...seriously, does anyone do circumlocution better than the English? No.
3. My grandfather was a famous cartoonist, he drew the Phantom. His only son, my dad, has had several fascinating careers, which have included Proctor and Gamble Soap salesman, J and L steel salesman, a printer, an administrator of a family planning clinic (Catholic kids weren't allowed to play with me and my brother), and curator of a museum of quack medical devices. He's an American original.
4. I am a skin care products whore. I have spent more money on Clarins products than I have on yarn.
5. When I was in high school, I created my very own fake id from scratch with my dad's offset printing equipment and laminating machine. I assumed a French identity and got into a club in Minneapolis to see the English Beat, PIL, the Ramones, the Replacements and many other bands. I used it to see bands, not to drink.
6. I lived with my first husband in Marrakech, Morocco off and on for 2 years. We lived with his family and it was one of the happiest times of my life.
7. When I was 11, our family won a year's supply of Clark candy bars. After school my brother and I would raid the box which was in our laundry room. I have very strong recollections of the feeling of plenitude that this box gave me.
You're tagged:
The Lone Knitter
Gingersnaps with Tea
Skeins Her Way
Mistress Stash Enhancer
Professor Knitwit
For the Love of Stitches
Life With...
Still with me?
I have finished another sock for the DRMC. It's official name is the Doug Henning sock or the Queer Pride sock--take your pick. He's very happy with it, and since it's all about keeping him happy, well, I'm happy!
Doug Henning/Queer Pride sock specs
Pattern: LYS boooring stockinette affair. I need to get out more.
Yarn: Regia 4-fach haltbar. Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
Needles: Two circs, the best technique ever in the history of the world.
The semester wrapped up on Friday, and all that lies between me and several uninterrupted months of daily 5pm gin and tonics (alternating with Pimms), masturbatory uploading of pictures of my obscene yarn stash to Flickr (as it's the only conduit to Ravelry), and, of course, round the clock stitching, is a stack of student portfolios. And then people, it'll just be me, a bottle of Bombay Blue Sapphire, and a shitload of knitting...
Ali, one of the principal designers over at Blue Sky Alpaca and the blogger behind Skeins Her Way, is sponsoring a clever little contest. She wants to know what everyone's summer knitting goals are, and because of my career in Crapademia (thanks for that one Knitting Philistine!), I am a perpetual adolescent on the precipice of summer, whereas I imagine that for adults not still living on the semester timetable, it's just mid-May. So here are my goals:
#1. To make some headway through the Koigu zip code in my stash. There just feels like way too much Koigu there and it's starting to make me seem like a yarn glutton.
#2. To lovingly fondle said Koigu while I engage in the ultimate self-love for today's modern knitter: uploading pictures of my stash to Ravelry (massive amounts of people are being added daily, so if you're feeling like you're on the outside looking in, that will change very very soon!) and imaging all the pretty little things I'll make with it...
#3. To put my knitting down everyday at 5pm for gin and tonics, (alternating with Pimms). Hey, my mother is English, I'm genetically programmed to have bad teeth and drink the above-mentioned drinks heavily, without getting drunk, just red in the face.
#4. To finish a substantial project, like the Audrey tank, but not to get torqued out of shape about it or let it interfere with #3.
There you have my goals. Go enter Ali's contest, let her know that I sent you, and may the best lush win!
Now, I have a finished object to show you all, lest you think I'm all talk and no completion:
Socks for the Darling Resident Marxist Curmudgeon and his Proletarian Feet
Pattern: LYS pattern
Yarn: Karabella Aurora Mélange, colorway #18
Needles: #5 dpns
Gauge: 48 sts over 3 needles, 1 x 1 ribbing, then straight stockinette
These were fun, fast, and the recipient is so pleased with them, which is always nice. Upon receiving them he noted that "the yarn feels deluxe" and wondered if it "was expensive"...now can you guess which one of us if the fiscally responsible of the two? He may be grouchy at times, and boy o boy is he holding on to those purse strings tight, but he sure does appreciate a FO with his name on it...
Let's just say that all the hyperbole surrounding 'Maryland Sheep and Wool' is appropriate and commensurate with the utter kick-assness of the event. The hype is not missplaced...Where to begin?
Because a long and demanding semester has taken a bitter toll on my fragile nerves , the last thing I wanted to deal with was the mayhem and feeding frenzy (unless of course we're talking about funnel cakes) of a Saturday at MDS & W, so Little Peeper (Tween thing's knitting younger sister) and I decided that a Sunday visit was in order. Highlights included:
-watching a woman spin angora yarn from a rabbit sitting in her lap!? Peeper loved this and had many questions, including 'why doesn't he run away?'
-meeting up with other knitbloggers, including Frecklegirl Jess, who was in the midst of her exciting Ravelry whirlwind promotional tour. She and her posse were gleefully handing out buttons and promoting Ravelry, which is basically my new reason for living. She patiently explained that it will soon be ready for any and all to use but that at the moment she and her husband are working as fast as they can to get it ready for such a huge volume of users. She is such a friendly person and what she has created is so deeply impressive. Right on Frecklegirl!
-meeting the folks from Green Mountain Spinnery who introduced Peeper to an old fashioned device. No, not a ye olde spinning wheel; rather a 1980's sliding credit card machine! She was very intrigued...
-watching Peeper be interviewed for the LetsKnit2gether video podcast about knitting! Her killer line: "I prefer to knit only with corn....".
But please don't think that MDS&W is all fun and games. There were lowlights which included hearing people play hammered dulcimers (At a fiber festival? Do we have to?), seeing several creative anachronism people walking around in clothing made out of leather hides, experiencing craven fishwife types actually pushing and grabbing Socks that Rock at the Fold booth (?), and my personal favorite gaffe, celebrity stalking Eunny Jang in the IK booth:
Eunny: "Hello"
Me: (nervous, weird voice) "Umm...hi...congratulations...I love the Anemoi pattern, really....(dry mouth prevents swallowing).
Eunny: "Thank you."
Me: "Umm...ok...Endpaper Mitts were a ....really great project.....seriously, congratulations....bye...." (Awkwardly lingering around the booth to the point that confused daughter was giving me a puzzled 'what's your damage' type of glare.) No, not my finest moment. But those funnel cakes sure were the perfect antidote to my embarrassment!
I suppose you're wondering about purchases... Well rest assured, I did manage to acquire some yarn and other various and sundry items. But seeing as I'd like to wake up in the morning with my marriage intact, I'll leave most of it to your imagination, except these:
OK, I dropped some serious coin at the Crippenworks both. I have up until now convinced myself that I didn't really need needle cases. Then I saw the work of Katharyn Crippen Shapiro and quickly revised that notion. She is such a gifted artist with an eye for sharp, vintage-y fabrics. Score one for me!! DRMC: You know I love you baby, but sometimes a girl just has to get her knitting retail groove on, k?
This was my first MDS & W, so please excuse a newbie's unbridled enthusiasm. I am sure that you'll read many different accounts of the event, but I am here to tell you that these two chicks with sticks had an amazing day.
The Green Gable, she is done. This pattern was an absolute gas for the first 1/3 of it. The neck was quite enthralling and quickly followed by the 'putting the sleeves on waste yarn' excitement. But after that it was a slow descent into stockinette hell that seemed to last an eternity. It's a discouraging feeling to spend 8 hours of solid knitting (I was a judge for a student film contest and sat through an 8 hour screening) and only emerge with less than 3 inches. Maybe my goals are unrealistic, but still! I am nonetheless happy with the finished product but won't be casting on for another one anytime time soon.
The Specs:
Pattern: The Green Gable, Zephyr knits (but you knew that)
Yarn: Valley Yarns Longmeadow in Lettuce. Love this yarn, it's shimmery and has the perfect cotton/micro blend, not to mention the nice price of $3.49/ball.
Needles: Size 6 addi turbos, natch!
Modifications: The only modification was that I cast on three extra stitches at the underarms as I was afraid of it being tight in that area (given my well endowed-ness;). I didn't want to look like a hunched up uncle Fester after all. I am glad I did this as it is not tight at all.
Finishing the Green Gable represents a triumph of sorts. It was the only large project (not counting a cardigan that I'm frogging very soon) in my basket o' wips, which means that I temporarily had the psychic space to contemplate another larger project. Since Nature hates a void, I quickly remedied this by casting on some Elsebeth Lavold Silky Wool for the Audrey tank from
'Sophisticated Lady--Book 4'. My love of Scandinavian everything is well documented on this blog, so it should not be a surprise that I am turning to this pattern, even though the title 'sophisticated lady' makes me want to gag. So far I am loving the hand of this yarn and recommend it to all...
My wish for all of you is that find a project, large or small, to occupy your free time during these gorgeous spring days!
Earlier today Flintknits noted that an internet cretin had found her blog by typing into Google something to do with '69' and left some scabrous remarks. She ended up deleting the post because of the creep-factor . She obviously didn't want that kind of attention. Several months ago Très chic Véronique observed that people who are referred to her blog are only ever done so by typing in 'Véronique' and that she rarely gets odd-ball referrals . I've had several hilarious Google searches done that have resulted in people being referred to my blog: apparently if you search for "large thighs ice skating" and "pathological hording", you get me. Both are so, well, apt.
Many bloggers are on a massive sock kick right now, and after receiving today's STR shipment I may not be far behind. Somehow this month's pattern is much more inspiring than last month's penis socks, so I am optimistic. But I am still riding the wave of baby knitting, and I don't plan on coming ashore anytime soon. Latest FO for a tiny tot: Baby's First Aran Sweater (from the Bloom leaflet) in Nashua Creative Focus. Now, I know you want one last look at the adorable little laddie on the cover, so here's the money shot to end all money shots:
And now for the sweater itself:
I am very pleased with this garment and am bursting with excitement to give it to my friend. She was the recipient of the last baby sweater, so I don't want her to be weirded out by another baby sweater so quickly--I'm trying not to appear all Jennifer Jason Leigh in 'Single White Female', so maybe I'll wait. But this friend is one of the top 5 people in my life right now, so I think we're beyond the whole 'is-she-stalking-me?' anxiety. I love the baby sweater thing because it affords you the experience of a whole microcosm of knitting. I'm so into it that I will be momentarily be casting on another sweater for a grad student who is having a baby in September. Is that weird?
When non-knitters receive our gifts they are so very grateful and at times stunned at our supposed generosity. Most people are incredibly pleased and thrilled to receive a hand knit gift. Yet I can't help feeling that there is more than a little self-interest in there as well, as they are providing us with an excuse to exercise our craft. I mean, I'm knitting it for them, but for me as well. ( Must make frequent f.o. sacrifice at the blog altar, after all...). Thinking about this business of receiving hand knits, I'm curious. Has someone ever reacted in an unexpected way to a gift that you have knit?
Perhaps if I weren't obliged to be making the largest size of the Green Gable, I would have completed the mind-numbing, endless stockinette of the body. But this is not the case. So, completion of this project eludes me. Damn you Tasty Cakes and your alluring cream center...
In other news, I recently found out that I am going to be a published photographer. Someone spotted my Stitch N Pitch picture from FLIKR and asked if he could use it for an upcoming book on knitting. The book idea sounds fantastic, I'm so excited to see it. You might be familiar with Larissa's excellent blog, she's one of the authors. What I thought was so funny was that my brother had left a snarky, sarcastic comment about the picture when I first posted it, something like "more pictures like this (lame, crappy) one...". So to him I say : in your face, douche bag!
Right now the DRMC and I are trying to plan our summer vacation. This is not an easy task, as one of us subscribes to a philosophy of fiscal responsibility and frugality à la the Depression era, whereas the other one believes that you're only in debt as much as the sum total of your minimum payments on your credit cards, à la 1980s. We are trying to come to an arrangement that we will both be satisfied with, and have recently discovered that we are both keen on visiting Iceland!! Me for the knitting and extreme blondness of the population (growing up a brunette-ssh!-in Minnesota has permanently damaged me) and him for the indie music scene and the possibility of eating fish at every meal. So keep your fingers crossed on that one.
If a Scandinavian idyll isn't in my future, at least I have these two fun things to look forward to:
-The Knitting Gnome swap. Ok, confession time: I love gnomes and if I could have one wish granted, it would be that gnomes were real. I convinced my kids for the first 6 years of their childhood that they were in fact real. We spent a lot of time in parks looking for them. In any case, we'll be hosting a gnome for one week this summer and I am excited. I can't want to embarrass my junior high tween thing with this one!
-The Superfluous Sock Yarn Swap. This swap requires participants to sign up via the Swap Bot. Have I ever mentioned how strongly attracted I am to anything with 'bot in the title? This was a no-brainer, plus Laura from Indieknits is such a complete doll. C'mon do it, you know you want to!
Let's just say that travel by rail isn't what it used to be. Minty recently documented her Amtrak jaunt by posting impressionist images here. My train experience can be conveyed by the following list of people sitting within two rows of me on my return trip:
-elderly man, hocking, mouth breathing and clearing his throat every 3 minutes. I timed it. It was every three minutes.
-couple 'sharing' the headphones on an ipod which is blasting Jethro Tull and Nickleback (?!) at maximum volume throughout the train car. N.B. : I hate Jethro Tull, but not as much as I hate Nickleback with every fiber of my being.
-palooka on cell phone, drunk dialing and speaking very loudly about how he and his friend Matty "almost got shot last night."
-woman with glue gun and riveting stud and rhinestone kit, decorating Shelly Winters-meets-Buffy Saint Marie fringe t-shirt. Yes, riveting studs, on the train.
-mother threatening toddler by telling her that "the conductor would take her off the train at the next stop" unless she quit fussing. She sold it by making a fake phone call on her cell phone and pretending to talk to the conductor, who according to the mom, "was ready to leave her off the train". The child became understandably hysterical.
Did I mention that these people were all within two rows of me? At one point, upon seeing me knitting, the elderly man commented with disdain that "well, that's one way to pass the time." Indeed.
So, unpleasant mass transit experiences aside, I had a great time in New York. The conference went well, and School Products was a sight to behold. I scored some massive amounts of Karabella Zodiac in order to make the Jat tank. I also picked up some Karabella Aurora Mélange to make some socks. Yes, I said socks. I am now back to socks on big needles as I need to feel that I can actually finish a pair of socks. Case in point: I cast this on while waiting in Penn Station, and after my railway ordeal, look where I am!
I went to the Point and knitted and chatted with the Spiders. They are a lovely and friendly group of knitting gals who are so much fun! I really enjoyed meeting them and appreciated their friendly welcome. See for yourselves:
A gorgeous bunch, no?
The tedium of the train ride afforded hours and hours of stockinette body action, which means that the end is in sight of a project that has been a long time coming. I made huge headway on the Green Gable and will be ready to show it off in my next post...
As a native Minnesotan, I have been raised to believe that people who complain about the weather are weak, moral degenerates who just need to toughen up and get over it. "After all, it could be worse!", Minnesotans love to say. Add to this Scandinavian pragmatism a steady dose of my mother's English stoic temperament and proclivity to never complaining about anything ever under any circumstances, and well, I don't look so good. Why? Because I would like to know where the flippin' spring has gone! I am sure it's right around the corner, but in the mean time I will look to my favorite colors, pink and green, for the sensation of springtime. The above-pictured fingerless gloves were finished in an evening and provided a timely distraction from the Baby's First Aran Sweater, which is high cognitive load knitting as you have to read a chart and all that, and the interminable stop-the-world-I-want-to-get-off merry go round of the Green Gable. Both should be done by the end of the weekend, but I just needed a start and finish a project in one night, just to know that I still could actually finish something. The gloves were done one of my faves, Lorna's Laces Shepherd Sport in Somerset.
I should be able to get a lot of knitting done this weekend as I'm going to a conference in NY, and taking the train. There I hope to a. present my paper and wow the audience with my mad French teacher skillz b. visit School Products and experience the insanity for myself and c. maybe check out a Spider or two at The Point on Friday night. We'll see! But I am looking forward to this little jaunt, spring or no spring.
It's that special time of year when it's all I can do to not shove Easter candy in my mouth hand over fist in a continuous, round the clock kind of way. But not all Easter candy. I have standards. Jelly beans and those foil eggs do nothing for me. Cadbury and Reese's eggs? Meh. Skittles are strictly bush league, and while Peeps are cute as the devil, at least I realize that they are probably fashioned out of some type of nuclear waste and/or petroleum, and therefore do not tempt me in the least. However, throw some Butter Krak eggs in the mix and now you're talking...
Today, while Tween Thing was working up a sweat doing Twister Dance moves and the DRMC was tearing out his hair whilst wading through our taxes, Kiddie Winkie and I went to our LYS and picked up something that she has been begging for since she first set eyes on it last August: Amaizing by SWTC. Now, we all know kids love a good gimmick (how else can you explain the current Webkinz insanity?), and so the idea of knitting with something other than wool was instantly appealing. She cast on for a headband in the store and told me that from now on, she's only ever knitting with corn! I must say that it is very sturdy and actually great for a tiny knitter type as it doesn't split in the least. I urge you to check it out.
Lest you think that I am somehow impervious to the whole gimmick thing, I managed to walk away some SWTC Bamboo. (Yeah, I'm not even pretending to be on a yarn diet anymore.) I would love to hear input from those of you that have used it and would also appreciate any pattern suggestions you might have...
As Fricknits and the Knitting Philistine both so astutely pointed out, I am not in fact suffering from baby-itis. Rather I am currently undergoing Baby-knittingitis. It's totally different and requires much less commitment!
I cast on for this sweater on Saturday night and have finished the back. It is flying off the needles, and I have even been working on the interminable stockinette of the Green Gable body as well as the Retro-Rib socks thrown in for good measure. So, if you're in the market for a satisfying knitting experience, look to the junior set for some instant gratification...
Also my pal Wondermike finally has a knitblog! Show him some special love and welcome him to our wacky world over at Socktopus...
I have now entered a new odd phase in my knitting life where I buy patterns if I think that the baby on the cover is cute. I am not currently pregnant, have one friend who is, and am 41. You could say that that fertility train is leaving the station, and you would be right. As my beloved friend Phil says, "that pasture gate is OPEN". So why am I buying baby patterns? I am not old enough to be oohing and aahing over babies in a grandmotherly way, but old enough to know that my own chances are dwindling by the minute. Is this baby pattern frenzy some pathetic attempt to conjure up a baby in my life, à la if you build it they will come? (That was Babs' hilarious line). But look at that little fella on the cover of the Nashua Bloom leaflet, is he not the cutest little thing ever? I know I am attracted to him because he looks like a baby version of my dad, as everyone knows that old men and infants look very much alike. Baby projects are enthralling because they are also a. inexpensive to make, b. mico-versions of adult projects that take f-o-r-e-v-e-r and c. so dang cute! So the one baby in my life will be getting "Baby's First Aran" made out of Nashua Creative Focus. Could that yarn be more appropriately titled for this here A.D.D. Knitter?
While I was at Kathy's Kreations buying the yarn (only two skeins! what a deal!) for the above mentioned project, I got into an interesting conversation with Kathy Zimmermann (the shop owner, designer and all around fantasic yarn impresaria) and Lisa, the designer of the well known and beloved Lisa Knits patterns. I had printed out my copy of Glee and was looking for some yarn to make it with, that is before I came to my senses and tapped back into this whole baby garment mania. They wondered where I had gotten the pattern as they were unfamiliar with Zephyr Knits as well as the other designers that sell their patterns via pdf downloads. The two were somewhat shocked to know how widespread the practice is among internet knitters and designers and expressed concern regarding piracy issues. Both had been ripped off before and found their patterns posted on listserves and sites without their permission. My impression is that knitters who are heavily into the knitblogosphere and buy a lot of patterns on line really value the work that these independent designers put into their patterns and tend to support LYSs over big box stores anyway, so would most likely be more careful to respect copyright. They weren't so sure. They felt that the electronic format lended itself to people more readily sending it to their friends and disseminating copies illegally. The discussion was very lively as it was interesting to see the issue from their perspective. Part of me wonders whether it's a generational question, or if it has to do with a shop owner's legitimate need to have knitters dependent on patterns from a brick and mortar store. I'd be curious to know what other knitters thought about the issue...(hint,hint)!
The Darling Resident Marxist Curdmudgeon vehemently objects to the use of the word 'tween. He feels it to be--oh how does he so lovingly put it?--an example of the "junk language of the corporate boardroom. Terminology developed by advertising drones to be used on focus groups and then adopted by the masses as naturalized and normal." (Seriously, this guy is a riot). Whatever you choose to call the state of hormonally-induced hissyfitdom and general malaise that (mainly, primarily) girls of the 11-13 age group experience, it's a challenge for all involved. For those of you who don't know the thrill of riding this daily roller coaster of joy, I am here to tell you that it ain't easy.
Note the facial expression in the bottom photo, it seems to suggest a feeling of utter disdain and 'I'm so over you'ness. Am I contractually obligated to continue knitting a sweater for someone who says, on a daily basis, 'I hate you', 'Why does your hair look like that?' and, my personal fave, 'Those jeans make your butt look puffy'? Wow. And I thought I put my mother through the ringer with my incessant demands for Sean Cassidy albums and rides to the roller rink. Sheesh! In any case, the daughter involved is (so I'm told) an exact replica of me in general sassiness and overall pill factordom, so it's no wonder that she can get under my skin. But hey, she's my girl...Luckily she's much thinner that I was at that age (husky jeans department, anyone?), so knitting her a sweater was a cinch!
The specs:
Pattern: Knitting Pure and Simple Neck Down Children's Pullover
Yarn: Cascade 220 Quattro
Needles: Addi Turbo no. 9
The only modification I made was to do a seed stitch at the edges. I believe the sweater might be slightly too short, but since this generation has never seen a 'belly shirt' that it didn't beg for, I'm sure that won't be a problem.
Believe me, I'm not a difficult person. I am not this persnickity in real life. I do not send overly salted or cold food back in restaurants, even when I probably should. I have been known to wear two completely different shoes to work and not notice until well after lunch. I do not register complaints at hotels in the hopes of getting a free upgrade or a fruit basket from the general manager. Upon entering my house, you would in no way utter the words 'perfectionist' or 'neat freak', unless of course you happen to pop over on the second or forth Thursday of the month, right after the cleaning lady has just left, in which case you might be under the mistaken impression that I pay very close attention to detail and that everything must be just so for me to be happy. The only area of my life where I seem to care enough to exert that little extra effort it takes to fret about everything being just right is knitting. Can you tell where this little post is going? After all of your sage and very welcome advice, I frogged those pooling socks like there was not tomorrow. With great abandon I ripped them mercilessly. Thinking that I had found a clever solution, I cast on my tried and true el-yawn-o sock on a different size needle, and knit for about 6 inches. Can you guess what the result was?
Yeah. Not much better than my first attempt. More dastardly pooling, people! So apparently the STR powers that be are trying to tell me something: do the pattern that the yarn was originally intended for. Hélas, pour moi...penis socks here I come!
In other exciting news, that living doll The Lone Knitter sent me an extra special parcel today. I ordered a ball of sock yarn 'Wisteria', from her Etsy shop (don't think of it as buying yarn, think of it as supporting an artisan, k?). It is even more luscious and gorgeous in real life than in the photos. The blues, greens and lavender were an instant salve to the drudgery of my day. As a very special enclosure she also sent me a signed, dedicated copy of her book, [one love affair]! 'Wisteria' is inspired by a passage from it. The book itself is a small fetish object that I have been fondling ever since it arrived. Can you stand it? I am touched beyond belief by the unexpected gift of this slim volume and all of the excitement that it has created. Recently I had been on the look out for something new to read, so this book is coming at the right time. So, yes there was pooling and knitting related tedium, but this parcel reminds me that I am still living a charmed life...thank you Lone Knitter!
My taxonomy of wips was not complete as many of you suggested categories that I had yet to identify. Upon reading several your submissions, I had an immediate flash of recognition and shuddered to realize that I knew these categories all too well, even if I hadn't named them myself.
La très chic Véronique identified a key player: "the soon to be knitted category... It's for the projects where you have the yarn, you have the pattern, you just have to actually sit down and make it...". Yup, check. Got more than my fair share of those.
K. noted a special sub-species that those who have reproduced have certainly encountered: "Haven't you forgotten the "started when I was pregnant" category? The things you started when your hormones were all whacked out and now you wonder WHY???? I can't be the only one who has done that....". No K., you are not alone.
Diana's category is somewhat spiritual in nature as it makes reference to the Divine: "I also have a JC category, as in Jesus Christ, I really thought I could knit that.... only with the help of God". Indeed.
It is refreshing to know that knitting frustration is a transnational phenom that knows no national boundaries, as Sophie notes "on my behalf you can add the "frogging hell" category. I have a couple of projects now in the form of half-way ripped bits and pieces and ridiculously curly skeins awaiting for soaking... Believe me, they can make you feel just as guilty as the "seemed like a good idea". Ah, knitting!". Yes, this French knitter knows all about frogging!;)
Nicole's category was especially fitting as it struck a raw nerve with this weary knitter: "How about the "high-maintenance relationship" projects. You know the ones that demand a level of attention, either because they're too complicated (traditional lace), too hard on the hands (thick aran weight with woody bits stuck in the yarn for good measure), too finicky (purl 3 tog through back loop), too many colours (Alice Starmore fair isle hell), too many ends to weave ($@& intarsia) or too much math involved (Zimmermania) etc...". Yes, I am all about the high-maintenance thing...
Carrie has alighted on a category that is perhaps the most familiar to knit bloggers, seeing as we spend so much time trolling around the web, peering over fellow knit bloggers's shoulders, looking to see how the other half lives and if the grass is greener over there: "you should have a "dreaming of knitting" category, since those are the ones that take up so much space in your mind ...". Yes!
Yesterday Babs and I had a special jaunt to Johnstown, PA. (home of the flood, you know, the town that was wiped away by a wall of debris and water when all the rich captains of industry financed the construction of a private lake that-oops!-flooded the town below and killed thousands of people. Not the Darling Resident Marxist Curmudgeon's favorite historical event.) We visited Knit 1 at the Blacksmith Exchange, a combo antiques/yarn shop new to the area. The store is cute as a button with an excellent selection of Cascade 220, Lamb's Pride, Wool in the Woods, Trekking as well as other yarns that types like me and Babs love. We both bought some Skacel Avanti to do these easy fingerless mittens (yes, we know it's Spring,we are insane):
I knit these up last night and love them to pieces! Something about the lack of frills (Fetching, you know I love you darling, but picot bind-off and cables? Isn't that a bit...much?) makes them especially appealing. The Avanti is a love as well. Skacel yarns can do no wrong in my book, love 'em all.
The owner of the shop is Margaret. Of course I am predisposed to liking her because she shares the same name as my mother, and everyone knows that Margarets all tend to be exceptionally solid, respectable people. As opposed to people named Tammy who will steal your boyfriend, run up your credit cards and generally chew you up and spit you out in a heartbeat. But I digress... Babs and I had a lovely chat with her as she told us all about her shop (it's about 18 months old) and her clientele (85% new knitters). And guess what? She invited both of us to choose any class and teach in her shop!! So what began as a visit to a new yarn shop ended with an interesting proposition...and now I ask you this: what 'open source' pattern or project would you propose? Think about the classes you took as new knitters, which techniques or projects really helped you turn a corner?
Now, we all know that wips are not all created alike. There is a discrete system of classification in force for all of them. We are talking about the knitter's equivalent of Linneaus' binomial nomencalture, the Periodic Table of the Elements, or if you are a particle physicist, the Eightfold Way.
The Long Haul
There are those wips that are what the French call 'un travail de longue haleine', meaning that they are just complicated enough that they will take a while to finish. But you will finish them, there is simply no question. They strike the right balance of doability, interest and promise of a statisfying garment. For me the Anemoi mittens are in this category--the magnetic chart holder is saving my place, and when I have a long stretch of time, I will have the gumption to sit down and refocus my attention on them. They are not the problem here.
Sock Purgatory
You have your pile o' first socks that are patiently awaiting their mates, relegated to the purgatory of knitted garments. "Any day now..." they seem to be politely wondering. At some point you'll get so annoyed with yourself, you'll just finish one and wonder afterwards what your damn problem was to begin with and why can't you be the kind of (good) knitter that has discipline and fortitude rather than a (bad) slothful knitter whose indolence prevents any project completion in a normal time frame. However this category does seem to cycle fairly quickly, and although a new one pops into the category just as another one is completed, it's not a major irritation because it shows that a certain level of productivity is happening.
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Then you have the out of gas wips--the projects that you began with a sense of unbridled enthusiasm. Perhaps an impulse purchase contributed to your initial élan, you were convinced by a well meaning and eager LYS employee (we're talking hypotheticals here), began the project over a weekend and then just sort of fizzled out over time. There are plenty of those hanging around this joint and I truly hate them the most--an odd baby sweater for a friend whose child is now 3, a scarf that when it comes right down to it, looks craptastic and fugly in the light of day and you just can't bear to interact with enough to even frog it. Their role is to mock you very time you go to your knitting corner looking for something else. You almost wish that your cat would pee on them or that one of your kids would accidentally smear Nutella on them, so you could feign appropriate stern dismay but then (secretly, joyfully) thrown them out.
WTF?
The last category is indeed the most inexplicable. It is the least understood of the species. Please tell me why a knit blogger, someone's whose voracious appetite for posting finished projects in a sort of pathetic primary school 'show and tell' kind of way, would finish knitting a sweater over a year ago, seam half of it, go get a cup of coffee and then never bother to complete it? WTF? After reading the Subway Knitter and her discussions of finishing it suddenly dawned on me Hello, you have a sweater that is 98% done in an Ikea bag upstairs?!! So, after a trying day at work, I gathered my wits about me, went upstairs and retrieved it, and am wearing it to work today!
The Specs
Pattern: LYS 'Three Day Sweater" (Yes, a hilarious title)
Yarn: Woolpak 8 ply in Royal red
Needles: Size 11 circulars
So, there you have my utterly scientific system of classification. See how the Darling Resident Marxist Curmudgeon's empirical mind has rubbed off on me? Please let me know if there are any categories I am forgetting...
I have figured out that knitting in general and sock knitting specifically is like that proverbial goldfish that grows to whatever size bowl you put in. In my case that bowl is the size of one of the Great Lakes, maybe Lake Erie. It's taking up all my mental space to the point that I no longer read my weekly publications like the Nation and the New Yorker beyond the film reviews and the cartoons. Nor do I send greeting cards, iron the DRMC's shirts for work or engage in important hygiene rituals like exfoliating and moisturizing. No, I spend my time thinking about knitting socks.
Realization: I am a bona fide sock whore.
I suppose there are worse dark masters to be serving...I mean, I'm not breaking any laws. And although I have sold my soul to Blue Moon Fiber Arts, no one is really suffering. And until they take my kids away from me, kick me to the curb at Penn State, sell my house in a county tax sale and annul my marriage for failure to perform expected wifely duties, I'm rolling with it. Hey--you can have my two Size 2 Addi Circulars when you pry them from my cold, dead hands!
The above pictured sock had been sadly been languishing on the needles since last June until my recent adrenaline sock surge. They were fun to finish, and I'm actually not dreading the second sock as much as one would think. Spring Break is rapidly approaching and I need a goal.
The Specs:
Pattern: Fiber Trends Leaf Lace Socks (Lord knows I love me anything with a leaf pattern)
Yarn: Lanett Superwash in # 8513 aka Puke Green (Sometime Puke Green just works)
Needles: Begun on Brittany Size 1 dpns and completed on two circular Size 1 Addi Turbos (Be gone you dreadfully warped bamboo skewers!)
Like all vices, the above-pictured sock provided me with heretofore untold highs...The pattern, Baby Cable Rib Socks, is from my all-time fave sock tome Sensational Knitted Socks. I like this stitch a lot. It's the same one featured ad nauseum in the Union Square Poncho, a behemoth of a project that took up way too much time for the diminishing return that it represented. The same stitch was a cinch scaled down to a smaller project.
The Specs:
Pattern: Baby Cable Rib Socks from Charlene Schurch's Sensational Knitted Socks
Yarn: Socks that Rock 24 Karat
Needles: Two Size 2 Addi Turbos
Did I mention how completely obsessed with Socks that Rock I am? Wow....where to begin. If Koigu is yarn porn (as I have previously referred to it as here), then STR is yarn crack. There's a springiness to it that makes it so lovely to work with. The colors are gorgeous and the hand...oh the hand. Wow. Love it. Want more of it. Luckily for me I joined the sock club so that a steady supply of it will be flowing uninterrupted to my residence for the next year.
In other sock yarn related madness, today I was able to procure the holy grail of indie sock yarn. After getting burned in a bad way on the Vesper Sock Yarn Scarcity Incident of Fall 2005 and the Catastrophic Sweet Georgia Calamity of Spring 2007, I have finally come up a winner. This b*tch has managed to get her mitts on some Sundara sock yarn, y'all. Hallelujah!! Can I get a witness?
Well, there you have it. Welcome to the underworld of a crazed sock knitter. Are you feelin' me?
